Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Today

I have a lot of things running through my mind today. Where will I be in the next 6 months of year. What choices will I have to make in the next week that will define who I am. Regardless, I know that they will be made. It is hysterical to me to think that only 6 months ago when I finished college I thought I had it all figured out. I guess this NEW YEAR is really playing tricks on me.One thing that my mom has always instilled in me, is to be with the people who make you feel of worth. IF you are of worth to them, then in a sense they need you. Today I don't know what I am feeling? It is definitely not a feeling of being not needed, lots of people need me. My family needs me, my work needs me. Maybe I am just participating in my own personal pity party. It is a lonely place. Sometimes being away from home for a long time puts me in this mood. Do I really have enough here to keep me here. I have a wonderful church family and a great boyfriend whose family I would not change for anything, but does my church or does he need me. Have I made an impact on their life? Do I continue to do the same ole stuff that requires no response or have I really let them know who I really am? I hate questioning myself, but I know that God wants us to do that. He requires it. If we do not question the impact we are making on the people we are around, the what kind of christian are we really?